Hiii~ sigh.. I have written a few blogs here but I never end up publishing them coz they are incomplete and it was too late at night so they probably didn’t make any sense..>_<
Hrm newiaSe.. a reply to my “I miss him” blog..hahah hrmm yess I tink u all get the point abt how I feel for him still..sigh.. its been hrm nearli 2 months hrmm..on Thursday to be exact..=/ lol im not counting!! Hahah I juz know this ok..hrm its us gals, we juz know detail..rofl =) yarhhz..
Hrm today….would be our 4th month together if we were still together..sigh..>_< time has passed by soo fast…it doesn’t seem like 4 months… =/ it has felt as if I hav known him for everrr but in the same time..it felt as if it was only yesertday wen he askd me out..=/ sigh*
I think wayy too much for my own good. I get my hopes up and then they come falling down soo fast!! Sometimes so fast that I didn’t know wut hit me …sigh*
The other night, the stormy one…=/ errHhh blehh..sigh… that night made me think of him soo much and miss him more… coz I coulnt sleep and I didn’t log online that night.. hrmm I duno..it feels weird, like somethink is missing…wen I don’t talk to him…coz we used to talk..or hav some kind of communication every day… hrm even after we broke up…=/ yer..and so not havn any contact wit him.. felt empty..=/ yer newasie I rember lying in bed… trying soo hard to get to sleep !!… but I seriously couldn’t.. I was listening to the storm and watchn the lightning hit …sighh I turned on the radio and then they were on abt how they wished that they were at home with their bf/gfs huggin and holding them tight in bed… sigh *every gals dream* to have their bfs hold them tight on a cold stormy night.. and falling asleep in their arms.. feeling safe and …loved… wishing that the night never ended bcoz u were wit him…=/ sighhh* *tears* lol…sighh..>_<
That made me miss him too much..coz I was lying alone in bed … listnieng to them say that craP!! Argh.. and then the requests and shout outs all made out to pplz bf/gfs… sigh* my life …can it et any harder on me? =/ sigh*
I was up for 2.5 hours bfo I finally got my ass to sleep.. !! I was holding mai “uoyssimi” lion all night.. lol (like I usually do after my polar was replaced) >_< yarhh..sigh it reminds me of him and memories that we shared…right in the very spot I go to sleep in =/ siigh* iwl keep them memories to myself I tink!! Hehe =P wut happens in mai rooom… stays in mai room ^^ =) ehehe
I msgd him at like 1.30am….but I tink he was sleeping..or juz ignoring my sms..=/ sigh..wutaa snoooooooB! Lolz >_< yer he knows he is one!!! PFFTT..sigh*
Newasie enof abt that day…
Today I went to the Sunday market… bleh* its now been hrmm 34 hours since I havn slept!! Lolz >_< coz last night I was online and watchin mai korean serial … and I decided that I cbfd sleeping..rofl coz I had to go to the markets at abt 6am newasie..=/ sooo fukn earli* blehhhhhhhhhh
Yer sigh so hrm I stayed up all night, watchn serial since ..hrm most ppl went to bed!! Hahah I tink the last person I talked to was jasmine =P~~ asians are a v nocturnal race!! Rofl…>_< im serious eyy!! I tink it is the busy life in asia, coz at night time..that is the time wher everyone is up and about… even the transport systems are all filled still.. and hawkers open at night .. so inda middle of the night when ua re starvin ur ass off u can juz walk downstairs and walk abit and find a hawkerrr still up and cookingg sum kik ass foooood =D mmmm hehehe =P sigh I miss spore…. I cant wait to go bak this yearrr yayy!!! =D *smiles*
Hrm yarh newasie..lolz… I turned off mai serials at abt 5.20am…then I tink I dozed off a bit..haha then not long later I had ppl smashin on mai door tellin me to get mai ass up!! >_< rofl..sighh soo tiring!!!
The Sunday market was soo daymn hot I tell u…fukn standing out ther inda sun from 7am – 3pm!!! FUKKKKk lolz >_____< it was the first time in a year since I been ther..hehe hrmmm it still pretty much the same..excpet the mobile shopz all seem to be disappearing =”(… coz I was going around tryna find some kool stuff fo mai mobile..which I finally got workign agen!! Ahhaha.. throw it around a bit..till it finally turns on!! Rofl.. >_< *thankz joel* hahahah =D
Hrm yarhh..boring boring boring..and daymnnn tiring… and HOT!! >_< soo much shiet we brought ther tooo!! And we had to load it onto the trailer inda morning, then take it all out at the markets … then at the end of the day we had to friggn load it all back in!!! THENN.. wen we got home had to fukn take it all out agen!! FFS mann >_____< how much shiet to doooo!! And mai mom didn’t know that I didn’t get any sleep the other night..=./ sigh yer it is my fault..but blehh!!! Rofl.. it not a good site when a chic hu didn’t get any sleep is gettiin pissed off!! Lolz..everything seems to get on mai nerves!! Haha coz I didn’t get any fukn sleeeeeep!! ARGHHH..roFL.. sigh newasie hrm had KFC for lunch? Rofl =P
Hrm after that went home and…. Try to KO..but then fukn mother kept on makn me do stuff for herr!! BLEHH!! Sighh..argh I dun even wana tlak abt wut happened for dinner…FUK mann I wish it never happened!! FUKN HELLLLL BLEHHHHHHHHh siiigh *tear*
Life is soo dodgy for me…=/ how come it soo hardd?? >_< bleh* sigh nothing ever seems to ever go my way..=/ never at all…!! Sigh* I wish my daddy was still back here !! it would b easier..!! but then agen I dun like seein my parents fight!! Coz mai friggn mom serioulsy need to go for anger mangaement!!! >_< or fuknnn stress less class….!!! Hrmm she too daymn impatient..blehh it juz reali fukddd wen she stressed out!! It stresses us all out tooo =/ sighhhh*
This last half of the year has gone downhill for me.. ever since I met that boi.. hrm wel things were fine… until the end of our relationship…>_< but that normal lor!! Hrmm but then I still stuk on him which makes it bad ….coz my head still cant think properly !! and now adayz I drift off into mai dream land more often!! And usually in school now adayz I dun feel like talkn to neone..i juz sit ther on my end of the bench and…think and..sigh..and…sumtimes I think too much that it hurts deep inside and I juz wana cry,,,,but then…in school lor..>_< cannot like that one!! Rofl..=/ bleh* its not like I havnt? Rolf.. hrmm =/ yerr coz..bleh…it was a while ago..>_<”
Schoool life has also been hard on me…>_< my whole life manN!! =/ one fukd up piece of shiet!!
Sometimes I wish that I had never been born into this world!! =/ sigh I duno whuy I have to hav sucha shiet life !! whuy the fuk is my path soo daymn rocky wit soo many fukn obsticals!! >_<
I have realised that I have changed…a lot!! >_< every since err beginning of highschoool..
Been going out wayy more than usual..=/ and got to many many more ppl..>_< which is a good thing lahh.,.i mean, the more fwens the merrier righT? Hehee =D but then..hrmm yaarhh..lolz ther is a lot!! >_<” hrmm attitude changed too!! Im still innocent and nice manN! ROFL hahaha but I mean..yerr I felt the change and oso ever since I had …my ex.. >_< mai fwens hav beeen telling me that I have changed toOo..>_<” hrm ..bleh but then hrmm time changes ppl lor!! And things that happen in life hav a big impact on yu!!!…BLEH* it reminds me of him and wut he sed to me …BLEH STFU!! >_< I stil hate his excuse and I still hate him fro sayn the three words to me and then sayn thet he dun feel the same..when I tell him how I feel….>______< it is sooscrwedd!! I dun even kno whuy I still like him??
He has hurt me soo much…>_< I hav mannyy emotional scars I tell u!! lOLZ.. >_< arghhh whuy whuy whuyyy ..whuy the fuk am I soo stoopid? Whuy do I let my heart run soo freely and fall soo deeply into somethink that I cannot get out of..>_<” sigh* stoopid serene!!
Aiyahh~~ newaisee….life suckkkzzz and I gotta deal wit it right? >__< wel hopefully after my birthday things will start changing and going right!!….”16 this year, a perfect square! – a perfect bday!” heheh my fwen sed that to me the other night !! make me smile!! =) ..i reali hope that everything that I hav planned and imagined in my head wiLl all work out next Saturday!! Sighh* PLEASSSSSSSEEEE :’(
Argh!! I wana go online!!!!!!!!! My mom is onda fone wit fwen..>_< stoopid azn parents..mothers* talk talk talk talk talk talk talk….BLEHH can u all please STFU!!! Aiyahhhh~~ *tears*
O I got the avril lavgne album a while ago..and omgosh her songs are soo nice! While I was listening to it I was reading the lyrics and I relate to many of her songs =/ sigh*
Take me away
I cannot find a way to describe it. Its there inside, all I do is hide. I wish that it would just go away. What would you do? You do… if you knew ..what would you do?
All the pain I thought I knew.. all my thoughts lead back to yu, back to what was never sed. Back and forth, inside my head. I cant handle this confusion. Im unable! Come and take me away…
My haPpy eNding
You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it. All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away. All this time you were pretending, so much for my happy ending.~~
Nobody’s home
I couldnt tell you whuy she felt that way, she felt it everyday. And I coulndt help her. I just watched her make the same mistakes agen. Whats wrong wuts wrong now? Too many, too many problems. Don’t know where she belongs, where she belongs
She wants to go home, but nobodys home. It’s where she lies, broken inside. With no place to go, no place to go, to dry her eyes. Broken inside
…. The feelings she hides, her dreams she cant find. She’s loosing her mind, she’s fallen behind. She’s fallen from grace. She’s all over the place. She’s lost inside, lost inside….
Slipped away
I miss you, I miss you so bad. I don’t forget you. Oh its so sad, I hope you can hear me. I remember it clearly. The day that u slipped away, was the day that I found it wont be the same. I didn’t get around to kiss you goodbye on the hand. I wish I could see you again. I know that I cant. I hope you can hear me. I remember it clearly. I’ve had my wake up. Wont you wake up. I keep askin whuy. I cant fake it. It wasn’t fake. It happened you passed by. Now you’re gone, there you go. Somewhere I cant bring you back. Now you’re gone, there you go. Somewhere you’re not coming back
I miss you ~~
